My underwear smells like fireworks.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
