I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
