You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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