Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
