We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
