And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
