White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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