why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
