i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
