tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
