this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i believe in u and ur pee
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
