There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My ass is underappreciated
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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