ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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