When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
