I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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