he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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