Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
