if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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