She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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