Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
