Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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