I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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