I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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