a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
