He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
