Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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