shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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