I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
