Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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