My sheets look like a crime scene.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
