Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
