Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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