Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
