you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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