Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
