I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
