Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
