I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
