PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
