Just fell off a train. Bad.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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