I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
