everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
