so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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