He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize
