Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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