Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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