Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
home. puking in laundry basket.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Sorry about my life...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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