Pappa wants mamma naked
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
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