I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
