Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just high enough for therapy.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
