I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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